Me & Howard Stern & the FCC

The Fight To Take Back Out Public Airwaves From Indecent and Obscene Broadcasters


Al Westcott is single handedly responsible for more than $2.1 Million in FCC indecency fines against Howard Stern and his broadcasters. No individual in the history of broadcasting has been more successful in making broadcasters responsible for their actions than Al Westcott. Al Westcott is the broadcasting 'watchdog' who operates on his own. Al Westcott is not affiliated with any religious or political organization. All costs of his activities have been borne solely by Al Westcott with no financial help from any person or organization. Al Westcott is "King Of All Stern Fines"!

Sunday, August 08, 2004

What's Wrong With Me

Al Westcott - Ojai, California

I get lots of email from Sternies that want to know what's wrong with me.

Last night I reviewed the condition of my condition and I have found the reasons that I am the way that I am.

These things are difficult for me to admit and I ask that you have pity on me, because it's really not my fault.

As a child, I was never raped by my Father.

And the worst part if that my Grandmother, Grandfather, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Brothers and my Mother never raped me either.

In fact, I was never raped by my whole damn family.

In the past 57 years I have never seen an alien, been carried off by an alien, given birth to an alien nor hired an alien, illegal or otherwise, to do my housekeeping.

I've never been on welfare, food stamps, social security or government assistance of any kind, and I've never worked for the Post Office.

Both of my brothers are not gay and neither are their children.

My son is a blatant heterosexual.

His daughter is six years old and can't play piano.

And, to compound matters even more, he works for a living and his wife has a job too.

I am not and I have never been 300 pounds overweight and I don't have any statues that cry.

I eat my food and, I'm embarrassed to admit it, but . . . I don't throw it back up.

I've never seen Jesus, Buddha, Amelia Earhart or Elvis (except when he was 'alive').

I'm ashamed to admit it but, I have a job and I've worked everyday for the past 43 years.

I'm not anorexical, bolemical, symbiotical, dyslexical, kinetical, diabetical, orthopedical, pyrotechnical or alphabetical.

I've never had an out of body experience, partied with Henry VIII, talked to Julius Caesar, seen the Virgin Mary or played guitar with Jimmy Hendrix.

I've never had a Godly vision or hallucination . . . except that one time in '85 at the 'Dead' show at Shoreline.

I've never been beaten by a cop, been to prison, beat up a truck driver, seen a ghost, stolen a TV, hijacked an airplane, car-jacked an automobile, scooter-jacked a Harley or cracker-jacked a Wheat Thin.

I've never been on Jupiter, Saturn, Mars, an alien space craft or The Jenny Jones Show.

I've never smuggled coke, smoke, cash, hash, heroin, heroines or Mexicans and I've never been to Spain, but I kinda' like the Beatles.

Like I said, it's not my fault that I am the way I am . . . I'm a product of yesterday's society.

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